A Simple Thank You Goes a Long Way
Or so the trend tells you.
You’ve probably heard the saying, “When’s the best time to thank your team? Before another company does.”
So if gratitude is so fundamental—why has it become a trend now? Why do we find it so hard if it’s so obvious?
Why Leaders Struggle to Say Thank You
In my experience, when a leader struggles to offer thanks, it’s not because they don’t care. It’s because of burnout, resentment, or disconnection. When you’re constantly firefighting, a heartfelt “thank you” can feel inauthentic and a stretch.
But here’s the truth: hearing those words—“thank you”—feels like “I matter. You noticed.”
And as a leader, you need to feel that too.
For the cynics out there, the attitude of “It’s their job to help me” works about as well as “It’s their job to do the work.” I know this because I had that mindset on my worst days!
Making Gratitude a Two-Way Street
So maybe this isn’t just about saying “thank you” more often. Maybe it’s about creating a culture where appreciation flows in both directions.
Here’s what helped me shift my own leadership approach:
Own Your Strengths (and Accept Your Limitations)
One of the biggest turning points for me was realizing I didn’t need to be the best at everything (hello, competitive sales mindset!). I needed to be the best at what I was actually great at.
Once I let go of trying to prove myself in every area, I stopped seeing others’ success as a threat—and started seeing it as a win for the whole team. That shift alone took a huge weight off my shoulders.
Step Up or Step Back
I started inviting team members to take leadership roles where they excelled. For example, I had one team member who could remember the names of every single candidate he placed—hundreds of them. Not only that, but he always remembered something personal about them.
Because of this, he got hundreds of referrals, was incredible at running our events, and made sure the recruiters were fired up to follow his lead. Recognizing and elevating his unique strength made the entire team stronger.
Ask Yourself the Hardest Question
“Why should they want to work for me?”
That question was a punch in the gut. But answering it made me realize: I had to look after myself first if I wanted to lead well. If I was drained, resentful, or uninspired, how could I expect my team to be any different?
Final Thought: Take Care of You First
So if you find yourself having a “But what about me??” moment the next time you hear “A simple thank you goes a long way”—take a deep breath.
Instead of forcing gratitude, pause and reflect:
✅ What are you great at, and how often do you get to do it?
✅ How can you create space for others to lead where they shine?
✅ What do you need to do for yourself to get back to a place of generosity?
When you take care of yourself first, it won’t be long before your genuine appreciation returns. #youroxygenmaskfirst
And if you want help figuring out how to make sure your team is playing to their strengths, let’s set up a discovery call.
