Leadership Is Lonely (But It Doesn’t Have to Be)
The Silent Struggle of Leadership
Nobody tells you how lonely leadership can feel.
You’re the one people come to for direction, answers, support—but when you need help? That’s trickier.
I spent years trying to act like I had it all together. I thought that if I showed doubt, asked too many questions, or admitted I was struggling, people would lose confidence in me. So I kept pushing through, convincing myself that if I just worked harder, I’d figure it out.
But here’s the truth: I’ve hidden in toilets, cried in side rooms, and gone home to binge-watch TV just to escape the feeling of not knowing where to turn.
Loneliness Kills Creativity
The worst part of feeling stuck as a leader isn’t just the isolation—it’s the mental fog that comes with it. When you’re overwhelmed, you can’t think straight. You second-guess every decision. You take feedback personally. You abandon your own boundaries to put everyone else’s needs above yours.
And that’s when the spiral begins.
For me, the breaking point always came when I stopped having a plan. I’d lose sight of my own direction because I was so busy firefighting everyone else’s problems. And the more lost I felt, the more I closed off—until I was sitting alone, drained, and wondering how the hell I got there.
Breaking the Cycle
If you’re feeling lonely in leadership, you don’t need to push through it. You need to break the cycle.
Here’s what helped me:
Recognizing When I’d Abandoned My Boundaries – If you’re exhausted, resentful, or just don’t feel like yourself, chances are you’ve put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Catching this early is the key to getting back on track.
Having a Plan (For Myself, Not Just the Team) – If I don’t know what I want, I become a punching bag for everyone else’s demands. Even if it’s a simple weekly check-in with myself, I need that clarity.
Not Taking Feedback So Damn Personally – One of the biggest shifts I had to make was learning that feedback isn’t about me—it’s about the role. When I stopped seeing criticism as a personal attack, I stopped feeling like I had to prove myself every second of the day.
Getting Myself to a Creative State – When I’m stuck, overwhelmed, or doubting myself, I know I need to move—literally and mentally. I’ve learned that nothing good comes from pushing through exhaustion. Yoga, journaling, stepping away from work for a bit—whatever it takes to get back into a state where I can actually see solutions instead of just problems.
You’re Not Meant to Do This Alone
If leadership feels lonely, it’s not because you’re failing. It’s because you’re carrying too much on your own. And trust me—there are people out there who will get it. You just have to let them in.
👉 If you need a space to think out loud, let’s set up a call.
